sunday noon, noob or work?
its sunday. supposed to work on my schoool stuuffs. but i m kinda lazy to get it done. oh-no. it shouldnt be the case but i m feeling lethargic, not wanting to move at all. wanted to write diary, i thot perhaps blogging would be a easy way out. i just need to reflect. yay. reflection. after reading my princess's entry, i feel the urge to get it off my chest.life's been busy, but still i m relaxed. went out with Gin yesterday. and we talk about lotsa stuuffs. life, boyfriends, relationships and peers. it give me some ponders. accumulating lotsa bad examples in life, i m freaked out at tht one moment, thinking prolly, life shuld haf been more simple and easy to b a free soul all the time. i can never stand a guy who picks on his gf. i can never forgive a guy who cheats on his gf. i can never. i m thinking about those fears tht surfaced all the time. why did it affect me so much? was it because i mind myself too much in the first place? or i have been dreaming all these while just to be happy? was i afraid because i had a bad experience? or it was more than fear to start from the scratch again? i didnt want to give trust anymore or rather, be backfired again and again and again.
i m happy now. just like i shuld. *laughs. feeling vexed because, i am at this point thinking whether i should step out of my comfort zone, and give it a shot in life. i fear not. i dont want to be overwhelmed. weak heart, i guessed, *chuckles. or should i say, not yet.
some mornings i wake up, feeeling it was the same day. some nites i turn in, feeling thinking tomolo never come. one thing tht i stil do every morning, is when i see mybackdoor open, i still crept in to see if my dog is there, forgetting everything, starting all over again. times where i stood at the doorsteps, wanting to hear him bark so much. when strangers knock at my door, i thot i heard him, but it didnt sound. i Laugh it off. *chuckles.
i would supposed, his death realli impacted me. though i stopped crying, but i missed those days where i kisssed his forehead, he got agitated and runs away. till now, i dont even know whether i m happy. or not. but i m quite sure, I wasnt SAD at all. =) not for anything.
frowning at the talk about girls, bitchy ones. it reallie feels indignant. sometimes, give me big heartache because i feel they simply abuse those privi god has given them. behind their pretty face lies the horn of the piercing edge. u can view as i m jealous, whatsoever. i feeel i realli dont need to be pretty, because, they say higher beings is fair.
i stil remember my bestie sheau harn, she told me once : u know, god is very fair, they give gers 1. looks and size but no kind heart
2. kind heart and size but no looks
3. kind heart and looks, but no size
i felt this was realli true. my peers and friends are so important to me. because, somehow, i m what they made me. thanks. i appreciate it. many a time, i pull myself down, because i lost self-esteem since young. i m realli trying my best, to build it up. and smile. =)
theres this song, the lyrics is simple and i realli like it.
Till the End
All these precious moments
with you by my side
must be a gift from heaven
that's holding me all night
i don't know how i found you
i'm thankful that i have
now that i have a love so true
to hold, to keep, to share
In my heart i can no longer hold inside
all of the love i used to hide
i'll always be with you until the very end
in this world there is no place i'd rather be
you are my life, my soul, my girl
and through it all i know
that you've come to see that you're the one till the end
All my friend around me
say you'd be gone too soon
baby i'm gonna make them see
we've found our way back home
In my heart i can no longer hold inside
all of the love i used to hide
i'll always be with you until the very end
in this world there is no place i'd rather be
you are my life, my soul, my girl
and through it all i know
that you've come to see that you're the one till the end
you’ll always be till the end
its simple. and yet it depicts everything i feel tht a boy should tell a girl. valentine's day is coming. sing it, Loud. embrace the precious moments of ur loved ones. tell them how wonderful hafing each other's company can be despite those nasty times. learn lessons from my bestie, princess elene at her blog.
aights. i nidda' get down to work alrd. oh yay. i feel like working over the weekends. hmmmms. =)
posted by i am simple. yeah. alwaes. @ 1:05:00 PM
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