the sound of heartache
i heard the sound of heartacheknocking at my door
i've seen memories recollects
eleven years ago
or maybe twelve
i cant be so sure anymore.
the thought of it
culd just make me
flood the whole pillow
late at nite.
my first eye contact
with him
i first kissed him
i first hugged him
i first call'd out his name
i first fed him
i first bathe him
my first strolled
with him
it all felt like
'twas just yesterday
i wish i could call out
his name evn when i turn
thirty
forty
or evn fifty
as long as i had live
i wish he wuld b there
my heart aches
like
i had never felt before
'twas more sad (den breakin' up with tht fuggin' bth)
more intense
more excruciating
more teeth-gripping
much more stronger
the fact
or rather.
the fears
they surfaced
they arose
right from the
bottom of my heart
they pile up
whilst bringing tears down.
i love him alot.
i reallie reallie do.
be it how times when i said
"he's bad. i don love him anymore"
i am lying.
i know deep inside.
i never had loved something
sooooo muchie
tht the thought about him (leaving me)
sooon, or evn now,
hurts. (a fuggin' damn lot)
every tear of mine
contain
his shadows
his barks
and the times
when he run around
and have lotsa fun
Now
i comforted him
i kissed him
i look at his eyes
he slept by my side,
softly.
i call'd out his name
he's still as grouchy
i wish he wil always be
there.
to be grouchy.
i wish i can reduce his pain now.
they'd told me
a shot culd put him to sleep forever,
and reduce his pain.
and it aches a hell fuggin' lot.
a hell fuggin' lot.
they'd told me
its a natural process.
aged, and leave the mortal
"dont be sad"
it kept ringing.
how is eleven years
of him (in my life)
compared to
"natural process"
i cant inervene.
neither could i not be sad.
here's the diff.
he live for eleven wondrous years
in my life
and he will leave forever-years
undergoing natural process.
i understood.
therefore i beseech
that learnt something.
learnt to
appreciate MORE
to love life
to love all the people
and to love myself
i dont know how long
he can live
from now.
but at least
i learnt the most precious lesson
in my life.
thanks to him, Frankie.
my beloved Dog, still.
posted by i am simple. yeah. alwaes. @ 6:55:00 PM
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