the show tht touched me
u may say i am an idiot. u may say i am silly. u may even say i am gila. but i reallie did cry watching channel 8 魅力百分百. it touched my heart becoz.. nobody ever understand the kind of feelin' in me. i admit, i realli don deny tht i m not veri fat. but the kind of feelin' can nvr be described because what i went thru', nobody reallie noes. i've ever feel so good only went in sec 1, the first time, i felt so dumb after all those years. she juz said i was blocking her way and said" 你很大只leh! 肥猪! 让我过lar!"
this is not the worse. i even had a guy who told me "u fatty, i puke when i see u okae." there was once i was in indonesia. and i was skipping with my cousin at the roadside. i culdnt believe it. even boys at tht time (i was pri 5 i guess) teased me. i don even noe them, but i stil remember what they sae and the drama they acted.
boy1: ooi, u got see pig wear clothes one anot?
boy2: no leh, i onli see pigs skip before leh.
boy1: is it? i even see pig keep long hair leh.
boy2: where?
boy1: there! (pointing at me) the ger in mickey mouse shirt arh. HAHAHA!
and the nex moment, they burst into loud sarcastic laughter.
yet at tht time, i don feel anything. nothing at all. i stil feel confident. though my parents and family kept lying to m at those times saying "u r geting more n more pretty arh"
nevertheless, i grew up from those times and mould myself into a stronger girl. despite what i have, i felt i plunged into "no self-confident" category. what can b worse den this rite? i have dreams, just like everyone else. but because o the way i am, a lil' plump, i felt iwanted more. i wanted to wear everything and be confident. but i cant. i ccant project the image of "confidence". i dont. i just dont.
which girl don wish tobe an eye-candy? which ger don wish to b pretty? who don wish to be slim and healthy. well, at least i wish. i am stil wishing. i will keeep wishing. i wil b slim and pretty one day.
but i don reallie regret being so fat last time. at least it allow me to learn many lessons in life. i learnt tht not all guys are good, yet, not all guys are bad. i learnt tht this life is practical. i learnt tht many things lie too much on vision beauty. I learnt tht life have many unsightsm yet it is always so beautiful and nice. =) i love it. thanks alot. life. for giving me everything. =)
thanks, lil' ones. i love u.
posted by i am simple. yeah. alwaes. @ 8:25:00 PM
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