rotting, not my priority
i have been rotting this 2 days. i have spiked fever at 38.6. ahah. i m still alive then. dont worrie. well.i was just wondering(i got too much time), things tht u like in the past, sometimes now or in the near future we have a changed perception of it right. it could be a person. u thot she/he was reallie good. and there when they turn their back at you, u felt like, "fuk, why has she changed so lot" i couldnt seemingly recognise her. used to think she was a perfect girl, now i feel like i was blinded. its pretty scary how they turn their back so fast.
sometimes, i do hate girls. they shuld b kind at heart, all the times. its scary when, you know, they try to prove how good they are at getting back at each other. i'm not naive. but it startled me a lil', at how ppl change over time. its funny. life isnt about getting back each other right. i believe in karma. it does take place. and i know tht, ppl wil onli start treasuring, only when they lost it. i learnt it even b4 i lost anything. lose me. i m just doing fine. doing fine without him.
just as i was crying on the way there, in my shades. i couldnt stop those tears from flowing. i was listening to inner-voices' Baby girl and Shi Wenbin's Waitingforyou *sighs. well. i wouldnt say i had stopped thinking about him. but one thing for sure is, it has lessen. :)
i knew things were better off like tht. and i know i dont want to be a substituition, neither be a piece of monkey shitty evidence for two losers to fight against each other and see who is stronger at getting back at each other. the truth hurts. like sudden grasp at ur heart, and u cant breathe. i can get a life. moving on by myself would be best. its hard, you know, putting an effort, and in the end u heard him said " i have got no courage" yes yes. i m peetty, i am angry when he said tht. but what can i do. what can i say. what can i put into words tht could heal myself? his words, " i know i haf no future with her. but i like her. so what i if do not have any future with her" , it echoes in my ears. apparently, i didnt want it to happen, but it just swirl around in my head. i kept swallowing saliva. controlling. if i m able to blame him, i would. i realli would.
although it lasted like.. 16 days.. but it felt longer than tht. b4 tht, i felt like a gf when i was just a fren. after tht, i felt like a fren more than a gf. muahaha. the feelings was so paradoxical, if u know what i mean. life is simpler, now. i m smiling. serious.
its not difficult right. i do hate boys. i seriously do. BUT, I m not a lesbian. theres a difference okie. neither wil i turn crooked
right now, the best thing to do is, sleep at home everyday. i think i wanna go clubbing. how abt tht? hmms. yay. i think i shuld. haha. bye ppl. maucks.
they say we were nvr meant to be
sometimes, i think it does make sense to me, too
i wish they were wrong
but it didnt came the way i wanted it
we started things
just like the way we ended things
late as it came
and fast as it end
i didnt pick up
whn u call'd thrice tht morning
i chose not to change my mind
i love you
just as much as the tears i cried
you thot i hated you
yes i do
i reallie do
i hate you for not having the courage
i just have to kick tht habit
i set out on this journey
i sat alone
i put on my shades
i start the tears
flowing along as the
bus drove on the highroads
when yosaid i was right
when you said you cant decide
when you said you were afraid
i forgive you, the moment
i hear you cry
you said you lost
a girl friend
a friend
and a best friend
all at one time
you dont know how much i lost
a piece of mind i lost
overtime we build it up
but where do i find those mising pieces
the shadows of you
haunts me everyday
everywhere
i wish i can tell you
i like you, i reeallie do.
the memories of your smile
the gentle look from your eyes
i remember it all.
all i can say now
is a big thank you.
thank you.
posted by i am simple. yeah. alwaes. @ 10:07:00 PM
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