kiss my forehead and say iloveyou: February 2006

DAys AGo, on valentine's nite, my prata cliche made cookies for U! hehe, well, the guys amde it okae. its so nice, got alphabets carved on it. hehehe! and prollly i should learn cookies making oso, hmm? heheh. should be kinda fun ?

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and so i bought the cookie pack, i m GOONNNA MAKE SOMETHING OUTA IT! yes yes yes! hmmm.. i hope it works well! hahah! *Excited!!

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Stir Stir Mix mix! this the Dough! looks like shit with lotsa chocolates. hehe.. arh i was just kidding.. hhe! *veri excited! (^-^) (\'-')

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Hmmm, can anot arh.. omigawd, so excited lehhh.. i got pimples outbreak.. WHAT IF THE COOKIE EXPLODE??!!!!!

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Lets see.. hmmmm, looks kinda okies.. hehehe! *excited!*

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OMIGAWD! I over HEAT IT! SHIAAAAT! Yayy, its looks lik shit too.. arhh.. but omigawd..*heartache* argh, can i just throw everything, mayb i shuld have just bought the FAMOUS AMOS COOKIES! *sob sob*

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I CANt give up! i haf to try oN!!! Oh no.. so i set a new set of dough again.. i believe i can do it! well, inoe its kinda stupi to not use oven..but irealli thot i can make it. nevermind, i just gotta give it a shot!

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ANd SO, I DID IT! =)) marvellous aint i? i didnt use OVEN ORH! =P *proud!

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busy

wow. so long since my last entry. well, i've got bio pract on mon. geees. i slack abit first.

i feel fresh. just came back from a 42 minutes slow evening jog. reallliee slow. a bad thing i wasnt breathing fresh air, i jogged by the roadside you see. nevertheless, i catch a glimpse of the shades of colors above my head. :) twas so beautiful. and it marked an impressive art in my eyes.

jogging gives me so much space to think and reflect. so much more peaceful then sitting down and whine. you feel every breath or u, u hear ur heartbeat, and u taste the metallic taste between the hard pallate and tongue. you learnt to make everything become so detail. just like life. sometimes, u never notice, there are many details u missed out in life, because, u didnt pay attention to them, despite them shouting out to get noticed.

i begin to realise tht i may be upset overcertain things, but i am not UNHAPPY. i m happy. when i go to school, apart from feeling upset, i realised i learnt how to differentiate being happy and feeling upset. there's a vast difference, at least, to me. can be feeeling awfully upset, but i can joke and laugh despite the excruciating pain of something tingggling in mind. besides tht, buddha's teaching says nobody deserves the unhappiness u invest on others when u r unhappy, in another words, not to be selfish. nobody deserves the black face u r giving when u r unhappy. everyone deserves to be happy. i learnt tht do no invest ur happiness on other's misfortune. u just have to smile. thts life. :)

Val's day was wonderful for me. at least, i did somthing, tht marked the first memorable val's day i ever had in my 19 yrs of life. i stil remember every details tht happened. the heart throb feeling, and the heartfelt words tht touched me. i would very much say thank you. thank you for the day. thank you for sharing. thank you for the time. and of course, my prata cliche. i love u guys so muchie. thank you.

this week, i learnt to face my own feeling, truly. and courage coms when u decided to do something firmly. it comes from yourself. comes from whats within you. bring it all out, and make your life more wonderful. :)

i've made some plans. seriously.. all set to move on. how? jus believe that I.CAN.DO.IT. tis is the magic words.

G' style was great. Xiao Ke laoshi want us to bring out te best in ourselves. look at the mirror, and feel confident. look at the mirror, and tell urself tht u r beautiful. look at the mirror, and show ur best. sexiness comes from within. not from acting. i like this dance, not because it teach u how to do girlie sexy dance. but it challenges ur confidence, and how u project urself. :) i can do it. well, my life is getting on track ~~despite some silly setbacks~~. how will a 19 yr old life be like? i like mine. :)

my dear sis.. i reallie hope u get back on ur feet. learn to love life. learn to accept that life comes with karma and stuff. learn toknow tht what u did affect future. she is lidat to u, is it becos of what u did last time? or maybe, she wilget back her karma in future time. be patient. it will come. :) i just need u to be happy. at last, be happy tht jen and many of you friends still misses you and concerned about you. jie, i love you. muacks.

shes my preetttyy prettttyyy gerrrrll fren, muacks muacks muacks!

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she do noes how to capture picts! okkies. i found a good spot fo me to study alrd! yay yay yay! hehehe! im going there to study soon!

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my prettty bestie, SU yue Ying! muacks muacks! i so love her!! and of cos she does love me, muacks muacks!

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she bought me the big big like red bean one! hehehehe! muacks muacks!

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so much of life, i would say.

ya. been working thru projects, and, all we got was DELAYMENT. NB.

*sighs. i was thinking i get om permies for my hair. like maggie frizz. haaa. =P and so i am having some kinda headache. OMG.

okkies. been out to sakae with SayuriNashaZul. its.. INCREDIBLY hilarious. weelll, u know hen 4 idiots get together, and things goes like..

(random convo)
Sayuri: lets we play TRUTH OR DARE
LK: FOOKING shiit..

[spinning]
LK: make it like this, set the question and den spin, den the one kena will answer okkie.
3ofthem: ALrigght!
Zul: which personwuld u want to haf lesbian sex/gay sex with?
[spinned, Sayuri got it]
Sayuri: cameron Diaz~ woohoo.
Zul&nasha: but theres nothing to see WHAt.. not exciting.
Sayuri: i donwan to eee anything what! i like her small size and just nice
LK: i think i want J.Lo siaaa.. *drools*
Zul&Zul: eh walao! nv ask urite! why u ans!
Sayuri: YAY Sia! Den drool somemore!
[LOL]

lotsa hit TOpic. woohoo. like u noe, hmms, how big is ur size. whats the kink-iest thing someone ever did to u. what is something(body part) u like abt somebody. and lots lots more. so crazy. wahhaha! whatever it is, i just hope nobody remembers anything. OMG.

=P

i miss frankie. reallie.

thebig gathering! wohoO~!~! haah! Love this folks!!

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my Fishy friend, Shark bruce! and here i am ! the vegetarian hark, lennie!!

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SEE! warric i so cute! with tht top, hahah! nahx, outta his usual dressing. xP

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LOok! its at my neighbourhood! and these kids. hahah! wel, back to the childhood times.. *hmmhmm~*

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our lo hei.haah! so messy! hahhahh! its all on the table sia!

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wahahaha! so LOmantikk! hahahah! sorrie for the eyebaggg! hahah!

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snap shot.. they wasnt looking at me.. hehhe.. look a jen's expresson. LOL! hehehe!

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we had dinner at ding tai feng @J8! woohoo~! we wanna ea her up!! jennnn! heeehe whats with jie's expression..?

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well, i love these soup dumplings? hehe ..it looks perfect, but when i bite, the esseence if it...WOW... *slurps.. i love it!!!!

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OMG!!!!! A crumbler bag!! from SIS and JEN!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!! i m SO SO SO SO SO SO in love with it!!!!!!!!!!! thanks Jen cutieee and siss pieeeee!

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some angbaos, a Movie with NAsha, A necklace from my bestie sheau harn, love it!

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A watch tht i eyed for, from my Lovely cliche In school.. OMG! i reallie love it!!!!!! its ORange in color btw. hehe

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Best gift in the world.. thanks. though i realised most of the group ict, i wasnt in there.. and i regrettted. it made me feel like crying.. thanks. i love it.nex CD i wil be in it okae.=)

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pre-birthday reflection

okkies. tomorrow is my birthday, Happy birthday Goh Lee kheng! turning 19, kinda aweful in fact, i wish i was always 17. yay. i will always be 17 then. =) Let's see my last year diary entry, it says :
Today is my birthday. But it's like there's nothing to celebrate... i didnt know why i din feel happy. And i thot its just another day... it's like an emotional peak for me today and i want to end my life at this moment, at this time.

[P.S: omigawd, i think i was rather suicidal at tht point of my life when i was attached. Tsk tsk tskk~]

Ahh, crap! i cant imagine a year ago i was such an emo freak, ~~well not to mention now tht i'm till an emo lard-ass~~ *giggles. okkies. i believe the fact tht now i m doing reflection again, i mean it doesnt sound quite rite, but i just wanna do it okae. OKAE.
*give me some knuckles yay?! some Fins Some Fins!! *

i m not trying to bring upte past, walao, but at least let me get off this steam la, for a year its lawfully right to reflect what. righties?

okkies, lets we see. hmmm. last year, i was still in a dumb childish monogamous relationship with someone for tht dumb 14 months, and right now, i felt like i've escaped from the jail and breakfree to the wild. exasperated, haha. i would say. *smile smile. and so for tht 8 months of 2005, i see life going up and down, feeling the fear of being discovered by my beloved family. but i guess thts not the worst. i think, hmm, i spent days and nights thinking how to be a good girlfriend. how to make her happy, how to not b jealous when her ex calls her up. how to act like nothing happen when i was deep-fu*king sad inside. how to spent my weekends or her day off with her instead of hanging out with my good old friends. and so at the end of tht 8 months, i realise tht i've been MOTHERING a person, and not gaining any love. this was not the end of the story, she got a gf 4 days after we broke up( or even earlier), and i knew it like.. 2 weeks later. it feels brain-fu*ked. i wasnt upset, in fact, just felt DUMB for being cheated. *giggles. and cheated by my own species, GOSH.

but i learnt lotsa things lah. Probably, i shuld thank her, give her some "clanger" award for "educating" me. hhaa. i learnt to give and take, not just give, and never take. keke.
i learnt tht ppl became very selfish when they r in love. they began to lose control.
i learnt how to be confident, because nobody is going to give me this and tht i wasnt a confident ger when i was with her. ( probably she's stepping on me, *evil laughs. kidding) erm, prolly looking back at the picts on how i dressed, oh god! *chuckles.
i learnt tht as long as i am true, i never take things for grant'd, i didnt lie abit about anything, and karma comes in tonnes to those who beset u and nv admit. haa.*evil laughs. well. tis is not an understatement. i m serious, dont laugh. *giggles.
hmm. i learnt to laugh out loud, haha. who dont right. i mean to say laugh out like i mean it. =) haha. laugh and forget. i also learn tht its veri difficult to start a relationhip, and once u start it, u haf to endure thru it. ( i rather not start it, haha!) and now, i haf mixed feelings about this, sometimes wanted someone i can manje with. yet seriously, dont have anything is a big blessing in disguise!
i learnt tht friends, are the most precious gift i ever get in my whole dumb life. keke. yay! I m reaalllie reaallie serious about this. i regret a whole lot, for missing in outings and gatherings most of the time ( i mean YAY, though now i SOMETIMES oso miss it, but there's a diff!) i m trying to catch up with them alrd. i know now tht friends are the ppl who will walk with u till the end, at ur toughest and dumb-est time. even though they may not be there, but when u think of them, u just know they are there. thts how i recover from the fall. *smiles. thank you, friends. from young to old. My prata friends. my sec sch friends, my poly friends. everybody tht has once walk me thru in my life. =) i am what i want now ~~(except the size)~~ thank you. =)

i love my family and tht i promised my mum tht i will bring someone back no matter if he wil b the one in the future. kee. for this, my lovely mother has been bugging me "where's ur bf" and
my dad's been pointing at every guy fren i bring home "ur bf arh". *giggles. i have a funnie and lovely family. =)

the big fact tht i am beginning to learn how to turn straight, hahha. no no, have straight thots, =P my friends were happy for me, seeeing this as a kind of accomplishment. Muahaha! yay. in fact. i m learning to appreciate the oppo. sex ~~though most of the time i hate them~~.

apart from all this, i think i m taking life with a pinch of salt alrd. Ahh. crap! and so after the 8 months, i lead a life like a free-d bird! Doing things tht i want, going to places anytime anywhere. having lotsa time for myself. Oh great-ness! even at times i felt lonely, i m still able to take it. its not so tough lah! =D i step out of my own comfort zone, i joined dance. and i m loving everybit of it. learning to take humiliation from ppl at tht rehearsal. but nevermindd, i will work on it. haah!

i m learning still, to love every bit of my life. though now i m fearing about another 1 and a half years time i will officially become a staff nurse, i m just trying to accept it. ( i cant run away from the bond and i wont, though i WAS planning. haaha!) *wink. hopefullie things goes well as time pass, yay?

i love all of you. yay, you. My life is somewhat full, thanks to my fellow friends and family. CHill out! =) thank god! miss u guys! take care!

kiss my forehead and say iloveyou

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Saturday, February 18, 2006

busy

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

so much of life, i would say.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

pre-birthday reflection

lets wee hear

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