kiss my forehead and say iloveyou: October 2005

Elene and warrric SAys "BUTCH IN RETURN". i dont believe it. I JUST DONT OKAE!!!

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cool, know what tis sign means? ya, preciely, NO FARTING cOOl yay?

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i learnt a great lesson today

i was browsing "female" they is this part they talked about "take off your clothes, You're Gorgeous!" well, it reallie boost my confidence like a 0.01% more (nuts, i guess about 5% more lahs)*giggles. there's this part tht is real hard-fact, it says
"the ideal body has been presented to us for such a long time we've forgotten it's a fantasy. It's the suffs of films, magazines and TV where all the beautiful women are slim, with pert breasts and no cellulite they're also happy, confident, and invariably get their man."
yay? make sense rite? i reallie think it makes so much sense its like i've got a big red tile dropping on my head, so much it knock big sense into me! another part was
" Stop treating ur body with disgust and contempt, and instead , learn to be proud of it. Scars, flab, wrinkles, cellulite, and all- they are proof you've lived. And besides, gorgeousness has nothing to do with perfection, so dont torture urself trying to get rid of tht saggy neck or those bouncy thighs. body parts are not what define a person"
tell me, ppl tel me! uh, what can make sense more den this does, man? it give me soooo much sense and inspiration to move on and b happy apart from the flaws i had, the times i cried, and got angry with myself because of what i cal tis imperfections. i guess i reallie has to stop seeing ourself as less than perfect, because the worst part is we let our insecurities to get us down. yay? A confident woman is the most gorgeous! ask any guys! geees! yay!
i tried asking myself, how many times haf i praised myself tht i look great, i m pretty, u noe, tht kind of lil' praise everone shuld gif themself. how manytimes someone actuallie tells u tht "u r pretty!", "u look great todae!", " ure cute", u noe, and u actuallie digress and tell them in reply "no lahs, i don look good okae, i look ugly"" yay. thinking back, i knew most of the times, i upset my besties by saying tht. i know, they love me, the way i am. but why cant i just love myself the way i am? yay. its difficult. but i realli am trying. i realli am trying. i try to tell myself tht what i got now is more than tht, i've come this far, i am almost a success case, i work and i got it. i m not near perfect, because tell me, in this world who is so perfect? who is there QUALIFIED enough to say i m not perfect? ~~yay, ppl like warric and nasha=p~~. i shuld love myself. depite however the ppl may tease, it hurts somtimes, insensibly. but they know nothing. i guess i wil just haf to reinforce tht i m not perfect, and tel them, "so what, u arent tht perfect too." yay. am i rite? *winks
hmm, life been great. anyone worried bout me getting fine? yay, i guessed. i am hmm, pretty fine? yay? hmm, happy. keke. i make myself happy. doing things tht i like, hanging out with my besties, lotsa lotsa stuffs. hmm, i wanna do some girlie change. HAHAH. any suggestions in my wardrobe? i need new stuffs? *giggles
*laughs. i well. i m not spinning anymore. *laughs. err, just lil giddy. a lil. *laughs. i love u guys. *muacks.
hmm, exams are round the corner. yay. u noe what i mean. *giggles. i shal start studying ehs? keke. have to get at least a B okae. good luck everybody.

as well as dead

i cant take it
i m giddy
i m spinning
i cant squat and get up
i cant concentrate
i cant take panadols
shitt

i love weekends~

cos i spent most of it with my friends. i guess i m just so in love with them. =) yay. with them. they are great! hahah~

EleneLianIrahNAsha came to my house for proj. we were all stucked but nevertheless, it was a lazy afternoon, brain freeze and all tht stuffs. haaha~ my pooor princess kept knocking onto my bed, well, tall ppl haf difficulty. i live in the dwarf world. HAHHAA. we walked down to prata to break fast. Lian and i was singing, hahahha! warric joined us there! 4 pratas, he's got 2 stomach, and yet good metabolic rate maintained. hahahha! finallie finallie, the food! glorious food! hehhe!

after tht dine, i tagged along with nasha and warric to meet Zul at cityhall, hehhe! i guess he love to frown, cos he's ever frowning. haha! after he bought a top, we went to Squirrel Cafe oppo bugis to chill. it was a real "hearty" chat uh, guys stuff, experiences, and nasha's "him", " pink, brown, or black", "PCC", "juggling". it was a hilarious nite out! i cant keep my mouth shut and was worn out by the laughter, hahaha! it's reallie crazy! besides, it was real breezy (cos of the big fan?) i love nite's out. hahah!

exams around the corner, ermm, yay. kekekee.

esshhhs, u noe what's tis? its kinda hilarious, i mean, SERIOUSLY. hahahaha! yay, look here.

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b4 break fast, waiting foR U, i'm waiting FOr u!! HAHHA! what's tht for warrrric..?

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wy r u staring at her lidat? hhe, my princesssEs?

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LOok a This, MY fav Paper Prataaaa! heheeh! u see u seee!

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IRah and ME~! hahahha! nicey nicey!

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Ah Lian and me! hahha! she'ss so cute, heheehhe!

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Princess and Princie! Haha! she's gorgeouuuuuuuussssss!

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a lil' tired..

but life goes on. :) if u wanna say i step on ur foot, can u tel me at my face? don pretend to ignore and be nice but stab me in ur blog. can. since u r doing this, so i can do this too. i m not blind, i am sensitive to my surrounding. thanks anyway.

things has been great. i m handling orite. i teared last nite. for a moment infront of the mirror. i broke my record. hahaha. hope it pass soon.

it will. i noe.

she look fierce while i look dumb. stil, she's my princesssss, hehehe!

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everybody, u know why he looked "slunted"? cos he got a pimple on his right side o his face, hiak hiak hiak!

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i crushed her face isnt it? my sweet princessa, hehe

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barbie-dollie Mic, me, Angel chang lookalike Elene

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today's philosophy

i saw the email, my fridae account. its the first time after so long tht i remember i had an account in there. feel like writing something stupid and philsophical todae. let's begin, :)

i prayed on tht special nite
prayed for a special somebody
prayed tht life wuld be special
prayed tht it never end
it was.. long ago.

i met thee
we had great times
we watched the clouds
build dreams together
it was.. long ago.

we kissed.
we swore.
we embrace each other's love
we evn broke into tears
together.
it was.. long, long ago.

the first time we held hands
the first time u look into my eyes
and say
"u're beautiful"
the first time i cried for u
'twas gone
a long, long time ago.

we quarrelled
we messed it all up
i forgave
and i forget.
it was long, long ago.

the hugs
the passion
the closeness
the attention
i lost it all with that one decision
it was long, long ago.

the memories flew thru my times
they turn yellow
the castle were once built
but wrecked by catastrophe
it was long, long time ago.

the dreams no longer echo
and lingers
i no longer struggle
and choke with melancholy tunes
it was long, long time ago.

i am rummaging my world
with grace and happiness
i run my thots
i rule my life
i kicked 'em aside
and kissed 'em goodbye
it isnt long time ago.
it is now
and then.

i am happier.
so much more in peace.
nobody rules me.
because im in control.
it isnt long ago.
it is now
and of cos, then.
;p

nahs. so much of a nonsense not emo enuff to write a good piece. well, it shuld b something more celebrating den! hehehe!

sometimes, love just occur without u noticing it. sometimes, they left u b4 u grab hold of it. their traces are hidden with spikes of memory and agony, to remind u. it looked like a cycle of life. but i m pretty sure it wasnt meant to b like tht. although each day, we slept when dusk break into the night and wake up when nite break into dawn, yet everyday is a different day. many things tht happened in life, happens with and for a reason. i decide where i want to go, how i go abt it, and why i go with it. i made my choices, my own decisions. we cant be living a life, thinking abt how they think abt us. :) friends are the best gift u receive in life. and i wil treasure them. because i think of the times when i was single out, when i cried and was lost, my friends kept me accompanied, led me thru it, and gave me all tht i possibly need. how could i forsake their love and time for me? i thank god, and amitabha, for all i have now. seriously, i don realli noe what i am blogging now, but i just feel like yakking. ;P

well. oh yay i felt hurt abt something else, and wanting to cry in sch. sometimes it hurts to hear what u don wish to hear. i do wish i culd just ignore u and hate u. but i didnt. becos u r my fren. some things are no meant to be joke to me, because some things hurts. i noe u donno u hurt me, it wil be childish if i tel u so. it wil b more childish if u noe im crying bout' tis. but, i wished tht u haf considered my feelings, the most sensitive part of my teens years. or to say, sometimes, ur strongest defence barrier are broken down by ur bestest fren. paradoxically, they are ur pillars of strength when u fall. at least, i wil nv. aights.. enuff bout tis. i m quite sure i wil cry in a moment or two. but anyways.. nahs. i guess i forget abt it later, pretty soon. *winks

tis is not suitable for reading, pls DON.

金莎-停电

太暗了么都看不见
闭上眼假装瞎了眼
到几点电源才会重现
点蜡烛蜡烛放在哪一边

太寂寞什么都太孤单
真希望忽然爱情会出现
不了解怎么都不了解
为什么blue 永远在我身边

chorus:
我害怕
一个人累
一个人睡
一个人哭笑
一个人陪
黑暗的夜
黑暗的街
黑暗的世界
停电的夜
找个人依偎
找个人追
找个人爱
找个人陪
停电的我
停电的你
停电的世界
怎么飞

geees. tis song is cute. aint it? keke. nahz. i m not feeling lonely. but rather blithe and happppie.what more can i expect from life now? the life i m leading is great! well, @least i m enjoying yay? so much more of enjoyment amidst the thick piles of work above me. busy can b a kind of peace too! u get it? yay yay yay. i was discussing with ah lian tht i wanna go KL last nite. guess i mentioned my previous post. but anyways, i reallie planned to do so. i noe lahs. many wil say i've been tht a few times, not Sick of irt? well, snce when shopping can be a sick thingy? *winks* i've planned, i wanna buy a few shoes, slippers, mickey mouse top from the genuine mickeymouse shop. tok abt bottoms, i m abit hmm, hesitant? arhs, i'll juz shop! gees geees, excited! oh yay! oh yay! oh yay!

aiya! i donno why i cant log in mSn. but i m not fusing mad, unlike the past, i used to bang the keyboard many many times ~~until it broke into many pieces~~. well, i guessed it gif me a better time to make sure i study! rite? oopssie ooopsieeee. aiya, cant find me online, juz buzz me on the phone kae. or on the tag. aights?

i think i wanna blog a lil' longer cos its like i haven been bloogging like many long daes. wahaha. whhhoolaaa. i m lef with like 2 weks to brush up on everything. i juz hope i become a lil' more hardworking and mug like i shuld. u noe u noe? gawd. esp with the health informatics and health education essay plus presentation.. i ~~do hope and (reallie want to) i culd bang the keyboard again and again many many times~~ want to *vanish*. (-__-) *sighs. nahz. i guess its not the worse scenario i m facing. more of it, i feel tht i am leading a challenging life.

i find tht everyday, i wake up, not only not knowing what i want to do for the day. i try my best to tel myself what i want to know, to make myself learn my feelings, of certain situations. sometimes, some unforeseen circumstances often put me in a fit, or rather, seemed to wreck me up. @least i know what my decision leads me to. every decision made is crucial, it changes everything. aights. lotsa philosophy here. in simple, i m juz trying to say make ur choice wisely.

till' now, i've no regrets! reallie! so far of making any decisions i mean. hmm, biggest regret was growing too fat in my most impt youth years. *sighs. know how sad it was? yes, tht s, i mean THT sad. i wish i were kilograms slimmer, but well, who wuld ever understand the bad times of my experience which stil lingers and echo behind the crack of my smiles? hehe. nahz, i m stil happy ~~except the part of life where nasharudin and warric ng's tease sometimes causes deep impact~~ .
wished i were kilograms slimmer because i wanted more from my life. more. i think about it sometimes, ppl cal me plump, but does it ever affect me so much to the extend i become aggressive? my answer is : Y E S. they say i m not so bad-tempered. S-e-r-i-o-u-s-l-y, i AM. i wished i were kilograms slimmer, cos i've got lotsa dreams to catch. i became half hearted becos i don not haf much motivation, its life, weight-losing is a lifelong goal. GOD! and it means if i am gonna live 65 long years, i haf to make i a point tht i m slim and pretty even the moment i ccollapse. but by the time i reach 65 years old, i wil haf manaaaaaaaeeeeeeeey, whoooollllaaaa. okae. why am i nagging bout this. i m onli 18 now. *sighs. okae, in simple, when wili love the waee i am EXACTLY and stop whining? ma frens kept telling me tht if i want ppl to love me the wae i am, i haf to tart loving myself. yay, i did. but stil? ya, i noe outta this world my friends love me as i am, i know. i know what i am thinking. i am finding the missing piece now. *grins. take my time, and ride on the road on this long journey, and the paradoxical issu is, i stil prefer to b alone with friends. xp yay, u can kill me at tis moment. HA HAHA!

my weekends, hmm, =P

今天很开心噢！went for for classs. Mr Fishy was late, but it was reallllli cute cos he apologised profusely, =P (~_~) heeehes. we learn new stuffs and it was reallie fun. he's cute, REALLI! ;p
金莎's "停电" is veri nice! heehe! i m super glad tht he's stil teaching us! i m reallie glad! reallie!!
was so shock when he said he returning to taiwan todae(sun)! but he'll be back on 2 weeek later!heng lehss!

after tht, met NashaIrahLian&bfEleNis at PS mac for project. great great great! haa. went to Cine to break fast at BK den went to geylang ehs! keke! lotsa picts to load! haaha! 'twas like along long march! crowded! but i guess twas reallie fun. plus the HOT-nessss. i took of my jacket, yay, princesses, i reallie did tht. brave aint i? *puke* anyways, i wanted so much to ea and eat and eat, but i didnt. i wan to eat he ramly burger, i want to at the cepadat, so muchie so muchie! but i didnt! *phew* besides, it was so packed! i guess i get lost veri easily. we saw Lisa and bf! stil, she's so cute! muahahaha! so happie to see us!

oh yay, to track back, i took picts with lyza! hehe. my two kids in the room, they were so cute! keke. cos it was 2pm and so i told them,
me:i leaving le, u take care okae!" so they were like ,
'em:huh, den later u cuming down anot!?
me: no arhs, after presentation can go home le
'em: HUH, LEAVE LATER ARHS!!!
me: keke. cannot lahs. kekeke. u 2 take care okaes!
'em: .. byebye! =)
kekke, well, i wil mis them too. =)

and den i went out at nite to ps with ah .wanted to catch a movie, but i was toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. reallie lohs! so we juz sat in the foodcourt near centrepoint. muahaha. i am lazy lahs uh, i admit kae.

great! so i guess tmr is time to study. Oh yay! hhah! great! i wanna GO KL! tis yr end!! kekke! i m happpiiiiiieeeee!

SLurps! muacks!

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my bestie! muacks muacks muacks!!

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Heees! now i know how many ppl don look at the screen when picts are taken. hehe. and how mani ppl don look straight at the screeen.

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at burger King. he owaes haf a ston face.. (-___-|||) i don get it. nasharudin, i juz don get it.. *sighs*

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Oh man! tis is how i walk in the crowd. keke. i cnt breathe, and its Freaking hot, and and and, i gt lost easily..

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i like the atmo! irah! what tht face for! xP

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the last pict b4 we go HOme!!!

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HOME after the march at geylang with IRahNashaNisEle!! hehe, tired liao! hee.

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back in action II

geees! yay, working morning todae, 5.20 woke up. but amusingly, i culdnt fall asleeep the nite b4 tht. nahz, its the morning (1am in the morning after i've completed my presentation stuffs (>_<)
i've got puffy eyes. i guessed? ehhs, geees. and kinda worn out. (=-_-)

oh yay oh yay, i am not trying to brag, but i m realli happy tht i bought a new fone at a veri good budget (well, though it used up half of my salary to buy, ahem... ) i upgraded my plan and paid 328 for N3230. bt at tht week's promotion, i've just gotta pay another 38bucks for a FUJI photo printer gadget (retail PRICe:$299)! and i had a free GPRS data card freee for 3 months downloading 1MB of stuffs, and a blue tooth adaptor for 15 bucks (after redeeming 25bucks of my sunperks). so in total, with all these barangs, i had onli paid a 381bucks!! WOW! i am astonished! *elated* *jumped around*

yay yay, one more dae to go and im done with paes! heehe! i m done with my presentation. so left with exams and psycho test and health education and elective projs. Yeeeepieeeee!

now i left with one big thing, who's willing to go out with me TODAE, as in, NOW? anyones anyones?

she say i look EXCEPTIONALLY demure in tis pict. which is a total different frm my usual crazylicious self. hehehe! why? cant i be sweet for once..? *pukes*

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HA HA! yay yay, we acted cute, but he look real cute, aint she?

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its ah lian and me! yay yay. on a tues noon, waiting for shift to start. geeees~ don u think her hair is abit tooooooo neatt..?

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WOooHoo. i donno. but i kinda like tis pict. muahaa~

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U see u SEE! steamed egg custard lehs!!! so nice rite! yum~! sumone to eat with me nex time??! it's delicious u nOE?!!

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elaine and me! my first pict with my new hp

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its saturday again, im back!

well well well, beeeen reaaaallie busy with attachments. but i had fun over there kae. i mean rooms with kids i kinda like. bu there aint much to do either. i m trying to find things to do, to help the wd. anyways, i think i m a big idiotic student monster who kept disturbing the kids.

3 things i do/say:
I: hey, u donwan to share ur food with me arhs
II: are u bored, wanna tok to me?
III: huh, u dowan to tok to me and share ur food with me, i upset u noe!

keke. of cos, they cant stop chuckling whenever i said it. its worth been disturbing just to see them smile and chuckle. i donno. but i don reaaallliie love kids i wuld say. errm, *thinking* aights, skip this part.

tues i went to jog in school with lyzalian. so lian was sleeping on the benches while we joggeddd under the hot sun! twas an evening, but twas real hot kae! so we went to ugis ater tht and lyza finallie got her g-shock watch. i bet she cant wait to wear it!

yay, wednes i went out with bangkennycorrinemingweikennethweirenyuankaiweilun to eat steamboat. twas funnie ba. and all of us ened up sitting outside PS doing nothing. so mekennethyuankai was squeezing each oherand played O-aH-bey-ah-sOM, funni sia!! i kena pushed down many times lo. coz i lost. WA HA HA HA! its kinda lame la uh. and when te others went home, we went to CARTEL and they drank. all the bombarding-stupid-idiotic jokes came and i was DUMB. cos i realli reallie dono how to ans those question! geeeeeeess.

Oh man! saturdae!! i love saturdae! i went to my favourite classs! but i ended up slightly down, the class was great, i enjoyed, but the heartfelt fact was tht my teacher i leaving us, going back to taiwan. i m reallie upset. cos i nv thot after 4 lessons and he decided to go back. h don even no when he's cuming back. i wil reallie miss him lotsa. =(

so i went to PS ( i noe, again rite, but tht's where i hang out, man) with mum and elaine! went to eat sushi! and then we walk down orchard. mummy wanted to get books for beads-making. she's in love with it~~~ =P and walk around the boutique, bu i ju culdnt get anything tht i want!!!! OMIGAWD! =~ so den, went back to P, cos mummy wanted to eat tom yam. den to carrefour to get fruits. an i meet my nasha ah bang and jasmine! geees. we chill out at macdonald's playing uno (darn lame rite) and i met ah beng outside the ger's toilet at lvl 2. tht's even lame-r. kekekeke. our first meeting is outside a toilet. what, don cute rite. hahahha.

anyways, i think i am putting on weight! i cant believe when ppl say i slimmed down. SHIITTTY. geees. but anyways, ah beng say i plump. so okae. i take it. cos i am realli plump. geeeees! but stil, i love myself. (be it whether nasharudin alwaes play with my ugly flabs and mocked at me) and alot. hehe. muacks. thank god and amitabha for the wondrous week.

princess, if ever u r reading my blog. i wanted so muchie to tel u so muchie things. i wanted to tel u tht we r not made strong, but to learn how to b strong whenever we fall. we r the special ppl who smile and can lit up somebody's dullness whenever darkness befalls. we r meant to b who we r because we are gers, the special u n me. we r meant to b loved for who we r, because i believe, u, my princess, are special in ur way, and u deserve to b loved the way u want it to be. therefore, no matter how hard u fall on ur knees, pls stand up. i am juz ahead of u. stand up and i wil hold ur hands together and we will run together okae. i stil remember ur dreams, and ur smile. i cant catch ur tears whnever u cry, but i can see the trace and feel it from ur voice. my dear princess, take care. remember, pray. my dear fren, tk cr.

kiss my forehead and say iloveyou

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Friday, October 21, 2005

i learnt a great lesson today

Thursday, October 20, 2005

as well as dead

Sunday, October 16, 2005

i love weekends~

Friday, October 14, 2005

a lil' tired..

Thursday, October 13, 2005

today's philosophy

Sunday, October 09, 2005

tis is not suitable for reading, pls DON.

my weekends, hmm, =P

Thursday, October 06, 2005

back in action II

Saturday, October 01, 2005

its saturday again, im back!

lets wee hear

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